In your dreams
The thing with bad dreams is that you may die halfway or scream like a knife has ripped your wrist, but the worst is that you may end up peeing on your bed. Each time you experience it, it feels like something bad, deep guilt weighing you down to the point of feeling as if a stone had been placed on your chest in sleep.
Nowadays you can sit through a Zoom meeting, and randomly remember a dream you had years ago. It is about being abandoned, trying to beg them not to leave you but your voice too hoarse, you woke up to your partner shaking you.
“ Why are you rumbling in your sleep?”
Well because taking Zoom with a poor internet connection is like talking in your sleep.
“ As I was saaaaayiiiiiin…GGG”
You wake up screaming and confessing sins and at that moment you can see the man of God gently looking down on you dressed in white apparel with a green strapping and a cross. INRI the words written above the halo of thorn crown above the figurine of an emaciated Jesus from all the beatings and mockery he endured on the “ Passion of Christ”.
Sleep talking is not bad at all. It indicates you are vocally active even through your sleep. It is only a cause for concern if you scream. When you are vocals are full-blown, begging people to hold you.
“Mutingwa…Mutingate…Nishikieni”.
You are then jerked and woken up lest your die in your dreams. Your current body is on the bed, the bedsheets drenched with sweat, yet your subconscious is linked to whatever exuberance you are doing while in the process and truly feel the stain on the sheets is the water left on your pajamas after being rescued from drowning.
So what if you are flying in your dream?
Then there is a big problem. You will be cruising through the clouds, screaming, trying to clutch on to thin air because there are no straws to hold unto during a sky fall. Your mind remembers all the superheroes of your childhood: Superman, Batman, and Rambo. But with your weight, you will just fit in with the role of Iron Man.
What makes one wet their bed while dreaming?
It is usually a normal occurrence where you excuse yourself from friends.
“ Acha kidogo niende washroom then we continue with the story”…
What about sleepwalking? When you take a step from your bed, half awake, half asleep.
“ I need to pick something in the basement” and you do it. The only bad side, you may walk to the nearest highway and get knocked off or to the nearest dam and drown.
It is not different from pissing in your dream of having a wet stain on your bedsheets.
The highest form of self-actualization should be the control of the mind, our brain not to make a confusion of when you are asleep and awake.
At times you watch a baby trembling in their sleep while shrieking, and the only conclusion you make is that in their tremor they are experiencing the torturous moment they came to this earth. At other times they smile, a deep one which curls their lips and spreads to their eyes and imagines they are recalling the moment they learned to latch, to feed, to survive in this new world.
The only beautiful thing about bad dreams is that you wake up. Then you joyfully realize the kind of sadness you had experienced at night was just an illusion. You try and think about the same things which had you knee-deep in the mud of worries and sigh, they were not a big deal after all.
Originally published at http://cafemaarifa.wordpress.com on February 11, 2021.
